Change
by Seyensay
Summary: She was a disgusting street urchin. She had no idea why she was doing what she was doing, but all of that changes when she wakes up to a beautiful clear sky. M for language JiangWeiOC
1. Bottoms Down

Title: Change

Subtitle: Bottoms Down

Based off: Dynasty Warriors / Romance of The Three Kingdoms

A/N: I receive some of my information on yueyingnet/dw, Wikipedia, the game itself, and my own personal knowledge. Also, here's a warning, I'm just trying to finally make the official ending of this two part story, so I'm not minding much of present and past tense, however, I would like a bit of a critique, tell me what you think.

Disclaimer: I do not own Dynasty Warriors or the novel - I do not own the lover in the story - I do own the character.

* * *

><p><em>I will warn you now; you will hate the ending of this story. I wanted to share this with someone, anybody. I couldn't share it with my grandmother or my friends. But you're perfect. You have no idea who I am and there's no one you can tell, I trust you. At first you're not going to believe this happened to me, and I don't blame you. But all I need is for you to listen. I don't know how it happened, but it was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Well, in its' own way. We all go through something amazing in our life, even when we don't realize it. I want to share with you this… whatever you call it, because it changed me. Completely. I want to tell you of my story. Honestly, I didn't believe it at first. But it happened. I know it did. Somewhere in my heart, everything happened and I was happy. Just thinking about it, I'm happy.<em>

* * *

><p>"<em>Someone had cut their cord and they swerved straight out off the bridge."<em>

"_Oh what is to become of her?"_

"_Mom? Mom!"_

"_I'm Rong Bai."_

"_You ungrateful little brat!"_

"_You can only stay if you get your bone."_

"_Please don't! DON'T!"_

* * *

><p>I jolt awake from my slumber, groaning from the pain of my stiff shoulders. Man, talk about an eating conscience. I take a look around the room, everyone is gone. I got up from the worn out couch and I left the place too. Am I going to come back? Maybe not tonight. I'll probably find a worn out building to rest up at, but I'm not going to sleep.<p>

It's been awhile since I dreamt about _them_, and it's weird because I usually see _them_ in separate dreams. _They_ would be there in one, and then it would be _him_ in another and, after, _her, _or even just at random times. And just to avoid those dreams I sometimes wouldn't even sleep. But when I do, they just attack me, those dreams.

Those dreams hadn't always been around, they just started coming when I left his house. _That place_. How long has it been since I left? It feels like it was just yesterday, especially with the mixture of that dream still fresh in my mind. But it's been a long while, maybe a year or two? He told me when I was fifteen and a half, how old am I now?

_I don't even know what day it is_, my mind wonders as I walk through the streets of Hanzhong, looking in stores, seeing if I could get a glimpse of a calendar that would tell me so. After the first five, however, I give up and just walk, not knowing what I'm going to do. However, one of the buildings caught my attention because it was a mirror window, where only people on the inside could see out. I couldn't help but stare at my reflection.

My black hair was oily and smelled like shit. It was choppy, due to random cuts I made to get my hair out of the way, or from others cutting my hair during knife fights. My clothes were dirty and ripped. Some tears made from falling on the ground while I walked, hit something, or when someone almost cut me during fights. My skin, that was once a light color of, I don't know, peach, was now a dirty bronze tan from being out in the polluted sun too much. I also had black smudges all over my face, dirty from not taking a shower in weeks and from falling in my recent fight.

Needless to say, I looked absolutely disgusting.

I continued to walk the streets of Hanzhong, wondering what I should do. I'm not hungry enough yet to steal some food from a cart, but I am pretty damn bored. Stopping in front of an alley, I began to contemplate if I should go inside. Before I took a step inside, two cops stopped me. I didn't panic.

"Is something the matter?" I asked calmly, staring at them bored. I haven't done anything wrong, _yet_. Just let me go through that alleyway already. They both took a look at a something then back at me; one of them scrunched their nose, most likely coming from me.

"Are you this girl?" One of them asks, holding up the picture of me, in my school uniform, looking all primped up and clean. I just stared at them. They moved their mouths again to question me, but I grab a girl that just passed by us and threw her at the officers and I booked it out of there. They blew that damn annoying whistle, alerting other possible local cops to grab me.

_Crap, crap, crap!_

"Halt!" I see another cop in front of me; before he could grab me I grabbed another civilian and threw them at the cop, and slipped through an alleyway, a different one from the one I wanted to go through in the first place. I heard their steps following me and I grabbed some garbage cans and knocked them down, I _prayed_ it slowed down their chase.

Finally, finding a back stairway, I jumped and grabbed the ladder, pulling myself up before the cops could grab me. I ran up the stairs, and through a room where a family was having dinner. I didn't care as they stared at me while I ran through, busting out through their door.

I could hear them coming and tried to find a room to hide, finally a janitor's closet caught my eye and I quickly went in. Looking around I tried to find part to hide in, then I saw the shelf and crawled under it, trying to merge with the darkness.

The door opens with a cop looking around through all the easier hiding spots and he curses, slamming the door. I stay in that spot for awhile until everything goes dead quiet, but still I stay inside and I'm tired.

_I think I fell asleep._

…

"What the fuck is that smell?" I woke up to a gruff voice, at first I don't remember where I am then I did. I was in a small janitor's closet. I see a rough face and a large hand pull me out of from under the shelf. I was literally thrown out of the closet and the large man just stared at me with disgust. "Go home and take a fuckin' shower!" He slammed the door on me. With shaking legs I got up and began to leave the apartment. Where now? Home? I don't have one. Oh shut up. I'm not feeling sorry myself. Boo hoo. I have no home. That's just oh so damn fine by me. No, I don't need your goddamn pity. Look at me, talking to nobody, I'm just that fuckin' insane.

It's getting dark, but like that matters. I breathe in my hands, but shook my head from the stench of my own breath. God, no doubt I have gingivitis: gross. Well besides the obvious that my breath stinks, where do I go? Maybe I can... Yeah, I guess I'll go there. No, not _that place_, but **there**. Where everything really began.

It took maybe two hours of walking but I finally reached it. I could smell the polluted water from where I am, but despite the disgusting smell worse than my own stench, I approached a mark that has never been fixed. A mark that can never be fixed. I was on the Hanzhong Bridge, over the polluted water and I touched the mark where it all ended and began, you know, like that one dumbass cliché. I just stared at the dent of the bridge. They never fixed it, dunno why though, I mean, it is kind of dangerous. But this is where they died. In a way, I'm glad they never fixed it. If they did, I never would have known where it would now. It's been, well, only God knows since when I visited this place.

They were so kind and loving. What does love mean again? Affection with adoration right? It's not like I don't know what it is, it's just, it's been awhile since I felt love. And I especially know it can drive someone insane. To the max.

I look around the bridge, it's kind of weird that there aren't any cars passing by, I swear there were like ten earlier. I turned my attention back on the mark and black burn marks. I heard the cars again and my attention went to the road of the bridge again.

And _he_ was there.

"Darling," did it suddenly get cold? Nope, just me. "Oh, I've been so worried about you," it's life in prison or death on me. Death sounds real good right now. "Please, let's go back home."

Home. When was the last time I used that word… I think I was fifteen. Yeah I told them, I'm gotta get home, he has something important to tell me. If I knew, I would have kicked my own ass for telling such a horrible lie. That disgusting bastard.

"Oh, darling, I promise, everything will be better." Like hell it will. I backed up against the railing of the bridge and looked back into the water. That red, brown water thing. I wonder if dogs could find me. I mean, how badly do I really stink? "Don't do it!" I could hear people screaming not for me to do it. Well, not the first time I've disappointed someone. Looking down, it's pretty scary. But which is better? Not jumping or jumping.

The answers pretty obvious: bottoms down.

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><p>AN: I meant for this whole thing to be choppy and confusing. It's the influence of William Faulkner's writing of As I Lay Dying (or something like that). Any advice or ideas would be extremely helpful. If anyone has question, I will answer them, however, there will be certain questions I won't answer just because it will be revealed throughout the story.


	2. Nice

Chapter 2: Nice

Title: Change

Subtitle: Nice

Based off: Dynasty Warriors / Romance of The Three Kingdoms

A/N: I receive some of my information on yueyingnet/dw, Wikipedia, the game itself, and my own personal knowledge. Also, here's a warning, I'm just trying to finally make the official ending of this two part story, so I'm not minding much of present and past tense, however, I would like a bit of a critique, tell me what you think.

Disclaimer: I do not own Dynasty Warriors or the novel - I do not own the lover in the story - I do own the character.

* * *

><p>I've never seen the sky so blue before. It's so, what's the word? It's positive I'm sure of it. It's not too much but not too little, it's just right. Ah, it's <em>nice<em>. _The blue sky I see above me is nice_. God it feels good to even think of the word. Hanzhong is nothing but thugs, pollution, corruption and getting high. I plead the fifth. But besides that, just the sky and the chirping of birds is real nice to hear. For a change.

Shakily, I got up from my spot and looked around: I'm surrounded by a freakin' rice field village. Funny, didn't know there was one in Hanzhong in this day and age. I pat myself and notice I'm totally dry, must've been the sun. What time is it? Early noon?

…

Is there such a thing?

I sat back down and stared at the clear… _Clear_ river flowing down? Huh, wow, never knew the Hanzhong River would flow down to the, literally, **only** clean river in China. Looking around me again, I don't see any people so guess I have to walk back to Hanzhong… Well, not like I got anywhere else to go.

I get up from my spot, my legs shaking a bit, not a big surprise, they were never very strong since… Well, you should be able to guess since when. I start to walk along the road, not knowing where the hell I was going, and then I saw someone ahead of me. I run up to him, my twig legs almost making me lose my balance and trip. I approach him and he stares at me in surprise, I don't have to say it again to explain why. "Hey," wow, my voice sounds real hoarse, nice. "Can you point me in the direction to Hanzhong?" For a moment, he just stares incredulously at me, until he finally points down from behind me.

"You are long ways from there, m'lady," whoa, _lady_? He could tell I'm a girl? Usually, I get mistaken for a really greasy, nasty looking boy. Must be the scrawnyness, and what's with that way of talking? "But follow the river and you should quite easily find your way there," I nod; lucky for me the directions were simple enough.

"Thanks," I say as politely as I could, lucky for me, _most_ of my manners haven't disappeared. I began to walk my way to Hanzhong, when his voice stops me again.

"M'lady," I turn my head back to face him, "I really would like to invite you to have lunch and dinner with my wife and I," My eyes widen a bit, taken aback. I've never been offered to lunch _and_ dinner by someone.

"Uh, no, sorry, but I have to go back as soon as I can," I say quickly, trying to leave him. I didn't even see him move when he grabs my wrist; it looks so small in his grasp as he moves my sleeve down, showing the boniness of my arm.

"Forgive me, m'lady, however, I cannot let such a young woman like yourself to travel in such a state. Look, you are nothing but bones!" He exclaims, pointing out the painfully obviousness of how skinny I am.

"Yeah, don't hold back," I retort, feeling a bit irritated with the man's honest concern, I try to get his grip off me.

"M'lady, please," His voice begs, "I am a weak man, and for you to not be able to remove my hold on you must mean you have no nutrition within you whatsoever!" I narrow my eyes at him, what a liar, his arms are freakin' huge! However, I couldn't help but soften up when I saw legit concern within them. _Aw, hell_. I stopped struggling in his hold and sigh.

"Fine, whatever," I say hesitantly, and he releases his hold me with a smile. Might as well take advantage of his generosity.

"Please follow me, my home is not so far from here," he says almost a bit too cheerfully for me, there was something that panged hard against my chest and caused my cheeks to rise in heat. What was this feeling called again? So much for ten years of education. I follow him into the rice village, where people surrounding us gave me a look they would give when someone late comes bursting into the classroom, but they quickly return to their business, as if it was something common to see.

I almost felt in place, the people here, though not as much as me, were dirty as well with torn clothing. They were all working, building homes, cooking, and cleaning. It was obvious that they had little money, but without money, they still had clothes, for there were women weaving cotton together to make any new clothing necessary outside of their little shacks for everyone in the village. There were children running in the streets, one almost bumps into me, and they were smiling so much.

Back in Hanzhong, it's rare to see kids outside of their home, where it was safer. If one did see a kid, their parents would be with them, holding them close in fear of them being kidnapped. This village, this place, compared to Hanzhong, compared to anywhere in the world, this would bring the picture of peace to shame.

It made me sick to my stomach.

The man led me to one of the small shacks, setting down the two buckets of water he was carrying when he first met me. "Song! I am home!" The man calls out to a woman, who is kneeling in the center of the small home, cooking some delicious smelling soup, I felt my stomach rumble a bit, thank God there was no sound. The woman, guess her name is Song, looks up, smiling.

"Welcome home, Lim," she greets the man while quickly getting up, kissing him on the cheek, her eyes find me, widening a bit at my appearance, I _assume_. "Oh, and who is this?" The man sets the bucket of water by the cooking pot.

"Song, would you please clean her up, I have invited her to have lunch and dinner with us," he asks of his wife, and I snap my eyes at him.

"W-Wait," I start, but the woman had already gone to grab some clothes and came back, taking my hand in hers, leading me to wherever the hell it is she plans to clean me up. She took me behind the village and I'm surprised to see a mini hot spring waterfall that spilled out, going into the river. Song placed my new set of clothes on a rock close to the hot spring, but far enough so that they wouldn't get wet.

"I will wait while you freshen up, when you are done dressing, I shall fix your hair," Song says, smiling softly at me, and quickly hides behind a tree, preventing me to tell her anything else, like, oh I don't know, that I don't need someone doing my hair and I could reuse my dirty clothes. I huff in irritation, scratching my hair, to look back at my hand to see it suddenly dirty.

…

I really should take that bath.

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><p>I never realized how dirty I was, but, God, that's embarrassing. I mean how could I be so nasty, I'm about to be the cause why the Hanzhong river is so damn polluted. I scrub my hair out as best as I could until the water finally stopped turning black. I did so at every corner of my body, arms, armpits (remind me to wax or shave, or however people in this time got rid of hair) and certain private areas.<p>

For once since I ran away, I feel clean. No dirt was on my body as far as I could tell, I got as much gunk as I could from my teeth, (I shudder at the thought) even my ears felt clean. I could also finally see the color of my skin now; it was darker than most Chinese teenagers, mostly from hanging out in the sun so much. I relax a bit in the water, my arms a tired from scrubbing off the dirt so fast, but I quickly got out, remembering that Song is waiting for me.

I climb out of the hot spring and pause, why am I trying to be polite? Oh yeah, they're feeding me. A chill hit my naked wet body, and I looked down to see one of the scars I got three months ago during one of my fights. I trace a finger over it, quickly noticing how small my arms really are, and the other scars I had from fights and punishment. "Damn," I mutter seeing just how unhealthy I actually am. I'm a living skeleton. A really scarred living skeleton.

With another sigh, I put on the clothes she gave to me, a plain brown woolen skirt and an open cross-collar shirt. I wrap the shirt tightly around me, no point in putting back my dirty bra on, especially since I'm as flat as a board. "M'lady?" Song calls, peeking from the tree she was waiting behind for me. Why did I suddenly feel guilty for making her wait? "Ah, you have finished!" She stares at me up and down, giving me a look I know all too well. It made me sick worse than my own old stench.

She gives me another smile, trying to hide her true feelings, and led me to sit on a flat rock and began to lightly comb my tangled hair. It's silent as she combs through my hair until she could run her fingers through it. Two years ago, (I think) my old friends would do this for me, my hair used to be so long and pretty to look at, they always played with it, braiding it, straightening it, doing whatever they wanted with it to add to its beauty. It had felt comforting and wonderful, in replacement of my mother.

But now, I've never felt so uncomfortable. I feel so exposed and vulnerable not only because the dirt that I was so used to having all over my body was gone, but because it was gone, it was like I'm suddenly exposed to the world. I was suddenly vulnerable.

"Alright, now let us have lunch, shall we?" Song says, taking my hand in a friendly manner, leading us to their little shack, where I would finally get to eat after a long day.

* * *

><p>Both of the meals were pretty good. Of course, anything would taste good, I was starving. For lunch, it was a simply rice and soup meal. It was all natural too, just tasting it in mouth, it was… Well, a clean feeling. I've been using that word a lot. But seriously, taking it in my mouth (stop thinking like that), I felt like I was eating something that will clean every oily disgusting part of my intestines. Then for dinner, it was some meat. I didn't dare ask what kind of meat it was, it looked… Well, not like pork or cow. And I don't remember seeing any chickens around.<p>

As we ate together, Song and Lim would talk about their days and then ask me a few questions about myself. I vaguely answer them, feeling it was best not to tell them any real facts. Okay look, I'm a delinquent, I lie. All the time. From framing one person to lying about certain things, et cetera. Also, what would be the point in telling the truth? They don't know me, and as soon as I leave, it'll be as if I never existed.

"Oh would you please stay the night?" Song asks me as I tighten my stinky jacket around my body, "after all, it is far too late to be traveling," she tries to reason, but I shake my head.

"I have to go, thank you for the food," I say honestly, the pang in my heart beating hard against my chest again, "I promise, I'll find some way to repay you both," I lied, but I still remember that certain thing called manners. Before they could press the matter further, I left quickly, holding my dirty clothes tightly against me.

I walked alongside the river, just continued down that path. There is nothing much except the flattened grass road I'm walking on and the river, flowing in the opposite direction of me. I finally stop walking, and leaned over by the river, looking at my reflection again. My hair, still choppy, but smoother looking. It wasn't tangled, thanks to Song combing it for me. My face was dirt free for once, and it felt nice. I felt my face, feeling the blackheads on it, surprised no actual zits had come out by now to make my face look like the nastiest pizza the world has ever seen. I could see the dark circles under my eyes from the lack of sleep I would usually have just to avoid those dreams and I notice how hollow my cheeks were from malnutrition. I'm surprised that I haven't died yet from the lack of eating.

How did I get so unhealthy? Well, the lack of sleep is one of them. When did I stop eating though? I mean, the gang was providing food for me, but I just didn't feel like eating. And I was broke to boot. Meaning no buying food or new clothes. Of course, I would steal money from other people—oh yeah. I sold that shit for drugs. Oh, and alcohol, I did drink a lot after all. Ah, there it was. The classic reason for bad health. Drugs and alcohol, the sweet sin of addiction.

I laugh a bit bitterly to myself, taking my jacket off my shoulder, washing it in the river, watching as brown stuff drip out of it. Gross, but it was funny to think that my clothes weren't as dirty as I was. I wash my clothes until I felt like it was clean enough, holding them up to dry, as well as finding the perfect spot to sleep at.

From the corner of my eye, on the other side of the large river, there were loud heavy hooves stomps going in the opposite direction of me. Men were yelling loud gruff cheers, making their way to their destination. Wait, I felt like I read something like this before. These guys are like my time's delinquents. What're they called again?

I watched them as they rode off to their destination, allowing their horses to jump in the river, rushing to… "Oh shit."

Why am I running back? It's not my concern anymore. But I feel like if I don't do something, my guilty conscience would get bigger, as if the dreams would get worse more than they do now. I wasn't running on my physical energy, I was running on complete adrenaline. My breathing got heavy and my legs were burning, but I don't care. I had to get back to that village. _Why?_

I was already too late though, the village was burning up, people were screaming, children were crying, and in front of my eyes as I hid behind a burning shack, people were dying, slaughtered in cold blood as men laugh. I'm gonna be sick. "Lim! Help!" My eyes widen as I turn my head to where Lim and Song were being held captive, Song on the ground, the… Damn _bandits_ stripping her skirt off of her. "Lim!" Song screeched as the men cackled, making Lim watch.

_This will be the best thing both of us will feel._

"Oh fuck no." I say aloud, running towards them as fast as I could, and with all the momentum I had, I kick the two men off Song, grabbing one of their blades as well. Song covers herself up immediately, staring at me with wide eyes as I ran to Lim's captors, pushing them off him, using the swords I held in my hands. "Run!" I yell as one of the bandits react quickly by swinging his blade down on me, I block it, using what was left of my adrenaline to hold my ground.

"But—"

"Didn't you hear me?" I snap venomously at him, the eyes of my delinquent blood staring back at him viciously, "Run!" I screech, lifting my leg up to kick the bandit in his crotch. He doubles over in pain as I hear Lim and Song run away as fast they could. I back away from all the bandits surrounding me. Each one of them were huge as fuck, fat, and ugly.

"Bitch, we will kill you!" one of them yells at me, I kept my stance, holding the swords tightly in my hands. I took a deep breath, feeling tired as a bead of sweat rolled down my face. I am so not healthy enough to have a fight against these guys. I gotta think, what was that lesson I learned back in high school when it came to self defense if you have no choice but to fight?

One of them charged, followed by one after another. I dodged their fat asses as fast as I could, each one trying to topple over me with their huge bodies. They swung their huge arms down on me, trying to crush me with their large bodies, which could actually happen if I'm not careful. One of them tripped over his comrade, and the idea suddenly clicks, I remember what I'm supposed to do if they're larger than me.

I charge at one of them, as they begin to swing their arms down on me. I went on the ground, sweeping my legs to kick the back of his knees, making him fall on his fat ass. As he was on the ground, I used the blade to stab him, right in the heart.

_Please don't. DON'T!_

Dammit, don't lose your focus. I pull out the blade, swinging it against his comrade, who looks enraged. "I will kill you!" He roars, trying to cut my arm off. Thank God he misses. I slice the blade as much as I could, right through his stomach. "Bitch!" He yelled again, hacking out blood, using his own blade in a successful attempt to kill me, stabbing me right through my stomach. He smirks at me triumphantly before falling on his side dead, my sword in his stomach and his in mine. I fall to the ground, pulling the sword out, suddenly feeling very numb. I held my bleeding stomach, trying to stop the blood flow. I try to stand, only to fall on my knees as soon as I saw both of the men that died by my hands.

Two hits was all it took.

_Please don't. Don't!_

I was then kicked on the side as hard as the person could, I think two of my ribs cracked and I couldn't breathe. I gasp in pain, looking up at the other bandits, who were glaring at me for killing their two comrades. "You will pay for that." One of them spoke, I assume he is their leader.

There were a lot of things I need to pay for. That thousand bucks I stole from this Japanese tourist when he wasn't looking. _That girl_. Those people I hurt during a fight. That fire I caused. Lying for one of the boys that he was screwing me the night he killed that guy. There were a lot of things. I'm kicked again and I roll away from them fast and painfully, I end up coughing out some iron tasting liquid, yeah, blood. My blood. I'm breathing heavily as they begin to close in on me, I sat up, finding my back against one of the burning shacks. It felt good against my cold back. I'm really going numb now; I couldn't even feel the pain in my stomach anymore.

Ah, those two, they're still here. I told them to run. I warned them, not my fault if they die. So it was a waste after all. What was I thinking? I shouldn't have run back here, I would still be alive, well, I am, just I wouldn't be near death.

But, then again, what's the point in me living? That bastard is a psycho, I killed _three_ people, I'm unhealthy as fuck. I'm just a fuckin' rat in a world of millions. Hell these guys, these fat asses are probably more important than me. They have connections, relations, families, reasons to be living. Like their fallen comrades, they live now, at this moment to avenge them.

Me? What am I doing here? This little anorexic, angsty, tree branch girl. Why am I living at this very moment? What the hell am I trying to do?

I laugh bitterly, smirking up at them. They stare confused at me, "what are you laughing about? You are about to die!" One of them yells, insulted. I laugh some more. I feel like one of those terribly made characters. Bad past, totally messed up in the head. I suck. Bad. No one gives a flying fuck. I guess that's why I'm laughing. I'm that character everyone hates because she sucks and now she'll finally die.

"Bring it on," I tell them, taking my hand off my wound, spreading my arms out, the blood slowly pouring out again, "I got those two to escape, I got nothing left to do," Hanzhong of this place is not my Hanzhong. Why was I so stubborn to go there, even though I knew, deep in my heart it's not my Hanzhong? Who cares, I got no purpose here anymore, Lim and Song remain undetected. It's okay.

_It's… Okay…_

That sounds so nice.

"Die you bitch!" He roars, raising his blade up, I close my eyes, letting my arms drop down on the ground. It's okay.

Silence. I could still hear the crackling of burning wood. "Boss!" I open my eyes slowly to see their so called leader, still standing, eyes dead with an arrow pierced through his head. He falls down on his back, arms still raised, the preparedness to strike me still in that pose, like a statue. I couldn't help but stare wordlessly; what are the freakin' odds?

"Halt!" A loud commanding voice orders, along with the sounds of hooves stomps coming towards our way.

"It is Shu!" One of them cries, already running away, "Run!" Like ants whose food was suddenly taken away from them, they scattered all over, only to be shot down by arrows or caught by nets. I saw Lim and Song run their way towards me, Lim putting a cloth on my wound pressing it down.

"Please, m'lords! Help her!" Lim yells, usually, I would have cringed but, everything sounded heavy now. Song's sobs didn't pierce my ears, Lim's begging voice for someone to help me didn't hurt. I could tell my vision is getting blurry. I'm about to sleep. "Master Boyue, please, she is bleeding, it is not stopping!"

Then he came to my view. He looked so clean, his hair tied back, beautiful brown piercing kind eyes. He wore a full set of green, or emerald, or _something_, armor. You could immediately tell he was important. "Master Boyue," I could hear Lim cry heavily, "she saved Song and I, so please save her!" This guy, Boyue, whoever the hell he is, nods his head, reaching towards me, to pick me up. Weakly, I raise my arms to stop him.

"Don't," I say hoarsely, my vision blurring by the second, "I," he ignores me, and as carefully as he could, he picks me up, one hand pressing on the wound to make it stop bleeding.

"You are so light," he whispers with concern.

"What do you expect," my mouth was dry and I bet he couldn't even hear me, "I'm a fuckin' stick," I look up at his face, his eyes filled with deep concern, and for once, I didn't think about any of my problems, I only thought about him. I only thought one single thing in my mind, staring up at that face that could bring any girl like me to shame. **You're so freakin' hot**.

* * *

><p>AN: Okay, I have no idea what life is like in Hanzhong. What I have written in Hanzhong is either inaccurate... Or completely true, I have no idea. So, just would appreciate some critique. Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed this little... Disturbing "domn" chapter, see you next month.


	3. Run?

Chapter 3: Run?

I began to think of every colorful word I could think of. Colorful words that don't even make sense. From **dammit** to **mother fucking shit hole of a whore **to **bastard rat fuck**. Yeah, I don't get either. But one thing is certain. My stomach hurt. A lot.

The moment I twitched awake, all that pain that was numbed out last night reappeared. At first I muttered my curse words, but when I tried to sit up, attempts to keep them hidden flew out the window. I screamed every curse I know. "Fuck!" I let the words linger, holding onto my stomach tightly. Looking down, bandages are wrapped tightly around my wound, but it's still bleeding. I quickly unwrap, not surprised, but irritated, to see my wound getting infected. Who the fuck dare touched wound with their fucking dirty ass hands?

I look all over the room I'm in, trying to find alcohol, yarns, a needle, and more wraps. "M'lady!" I hear a woman shriek, trying to get my down from a shelf where I was looking for said items, "please, you should not be up, why have you removed your bandages!" She continues to question me while screaming orders at me until I give her an icy glare and a light shove her so that she would stop touching me.

"The idiot who treated me got my wound infected," I explain to her with a growl, her eyes were wide with confusion and fear. I continue to search through the shelves, realizing the stuff I need isn't here, "is there any pure alcohol, yarns, needles, wraps and clean rags around here?" I ask her harshly, the pain in my stomach not allowing me to keep my emotions _and mouth_ in check. She nods slowly. "Get them," I order her like a dog and she scurries away, hopefully to get what I need. I sat down back on the bed, holding my bleeding stomach, waiting impatiently for the woman to arrive.

When she did, she set the items by me, carefully and neatly as possible. I grab the bottles of alcohol and pour one of them on my wound; I immediately start hissing from the sharp pain. I wipe the blood and alcohol away cleaning the wound as I pour another bottle of alcohol. "M'lady, please allow me to help," the woman says as she approaches me, ready to clean the wound herself.

"Back up," I snap at her, hissing again when I hit something deep. "I'm not gonna get infected again," when I saw the wound was clean enough, I dip the needle in an unused jar of alcohol, slip the yarn through the tiny hole and immediately began sewing my stomach, wincing at every pierce of the needle going through my skin. The woman gasps as she watches me operate on myself, her pale face turning a bit green at the sight.

I'm not exactly used to doing this, but when I got wounds like this, the boys taught me how to sew myself, especially since I didn't have life insurance, nor do I have the money to pay for any injury I would have. Of course, one of those guys was an actual doctor, not exactly legal, but he took classes, so it was close enough.

When I finally finish, I pour the last bottle of alcohol onto my new sewed wound and began to clean it again with a different rag, wrapping the bandages around my stomach. It still hurt like a bitch, but it's a bit more tolerable now. I breathe heavily, slowly taking off my shirt, not giving a damn that my no boob chest is out in the open. It's fuckin' hot. "M-M'lady," the woman starts, approaching me slowly, holding out another shirt. Sighing, I put it on as sit up, trying to move my body, though it won't help with the wound, and walk towards one of the windows to see that I was in a one level… House, mansion, I don't know what the fuck to call it. But outside, there's that clean river next to a stable filled with different color coated horses.

"Hey," I tell the woman, who, from the corner of my eye, I can see she snap her head up, "tell whoever that helped me out, thanks," I jump out from the window, earning a shriek from the woman, running to the stable of horses. Lucky for me, no one is there as I gently handle a red-brown horse, "hey, c'mon, I don't bite," I tell the horse gently and it allows me to pull it and get on top of it, I see some people running our way, yelling for me to get off the horse, huh, what a little deja vu moment, "just get me out of here, then you could come back, got it?" As if it understood me, it neighs and rides off.

"She stole the Red Hare!" I hear the men yelling and groaning, throwing their weapons on the ground in aggravation, I can't help but snicker at them.

The horse brings me far enough from the place and stops to take a drink at the river. I get off it, surprised that the wound didn't reopen from the fast run of the horse. But my ass hurts like a bitch now. I kneel by the river and wash my face a bit; the pain in my stomach having subsided. It's strange really, the scar I got on my leg kept me sore and out of fights for weeks, but this. It's just not so bad as before. And it most definitely looks… what's the perfect word smart people use when trying to describe something, like it's really bad? Stupendous? It's got stupid in it.

I take in a deep breath and sigh, looking at the horse that is patiently waiting to be ridden again, it's almost cute. Curse me and my weak spot for furry creatures.

…

Pretend you didn't hear that.

"Alright, you brought far enough, you can go back to that place now," I make it turn back the other way and immediately let it ride off. I sigh again, stretching my arms out from side to side, careful not to reopen my wounds. I began walking to… Well, who knows where?

This isn't my time. What goal do I have now exactly? I mean, there's no stress, I don't have to hide from him anymore. But, now what do I do? There's no… There wasn't a reason for me to run. What am I running from now?

* * *

><p>AN: So for starters, with Kaiyi treating her wounds, yeah I know that's pretty much impossible. For one thing, she wouldn't be able to handle the pain. And another, she would get infected anyways. I'm pretty sure. Also, motherfucking shit of a whore. That's my identifier. I curse like that in real life. Never makes sense to anyone, but people know me so well, it doesn't even faze them. So maid girl, completely unimportant. Red Hare, isn't he just the cutest thing ever? This should be a sign of something-something. Let's see if you get it.

Short chapter is short. Not much else I could've done with it.


	4. I'm Dreaming Again

Chapter 4: I'm Dreaming Again

I'm dreaming again. At least, I'm sure I was. Maybe this whole thing had been a dream. If it was, then I hope it stays that way. No. I don't know. A dream?

I'm dreaming again. Is it a dream? A nightmare. Mom…

"_No!" Grandma? "No, my Xun!" She's crying. A lot. Wait, this is familiar. It's becoming clearer. Grandma's house. The large frame doorway, the large door. Grandma, on her knees, wailing, a cop trying to hold her up. She pushes him away, screaming in tears, covering her face. "Xun! Oh my Xun!" Xun. Mao Xun. Mom…_

"_G-Grandma?" I didn't even mean to speak. I don't even mean to walk forward. My eyes are my eyes, but my body is not my body._

_Wait. It's that night… That night. "Oh, my little Kaiyi," Grandma said through harsh breaths and sniffles, "I'm so sorry." I understood, somehow, I did. She never said it directly, but it said so much. I knew what she meant. Grandma, why them? Why?_

_And I know why. Maybe not then. But eventually I found out. Because…_

I'm dreaming again. No, please. Anything but this.

"_Oh, what is to become of her?" No, grandma, please take me!_

"_Mom! Mom!" I hear my voice crying my hands clinging on the white robe of my dead mother. Mom… Why did you and dad have to go? Oh why? Mom…_

"_I'm Rong Bai," No! Please don't let him take me! No! No!_

I'm dreaming, wake up.

"_You ungrateful brat!" I could feel it. Isn't this supposed to be a dream? "You're just like Xun! I was better than Kwok! I loved you!" No, stop touching me! Let me go!_

I'm dreaming. Wake up, please wake up. Dammit, wake the fuck up already!

"_You can only stay if you get your bone." No, stop moving. Put down that pipe. Stop. You stupid girl! Run! Get away from me! No! Don't touch her anymore! Stop!_

"_Please don't, DON'T!_

Wake up! Please!

"Kaiyi."

Wakeupwakeupwakeupwakeup!

"_Kaiyi!"_

Nogodgodpleasenogod!

"Miss Mao!"

Ohgodwhy!Why?WHY?

"_I love you, baby."_

I'm dreaming again.

* * *

><p>AN: Due to short chapters, I decided I will release both short consecutive chapters. Now for those who don't understand. I do believe my intention was for you not to understand. But for myself to understand, but if you understand, kudos to you.

Ugh, I just wish I didn't reveal her name here. Well, in the other version of Change, her name was revealed in Chapter 4 anyways, so I guess it's alright.


	5. Chan Ge

Chapter 5: Chan Ge

I look down at the kid I had just tripped, Zhang Kua slowly turning his head, looking down at the boy and me. I began to sense a rising lecture in his voice but I crouch down, the kid glaring at me with a scowl. "Why did you do that?" He yells at me, glaring at me with sharp eyes very similar to mine. I don't respond as I reach out and grab my coin purse, raising my eyebrows at him, daring him to challenge me. The sense of a lecture coming ceases. The kid's eyes widen and he looks down, embarrassed, quickly running away from me. I roll my eyes and put my coin purse back in its rightful place as Kua buys the supplies to prepare for our next journey_._

Kua is an elderly man, he looks brittle on the outside, but all that strength and muscle is only covered by the robes he wears. His beard is long and reaches right at his collarbone and his balding long hair is tied back neatly and presentable. I met Kua the next day over I escaped from that man—you know what, I'm not even gonna explain what the hell that place was, it's too bothersome. Anyways, I met up with Kua back then and he helped me out, feeding and fixing me up with that wound until it healed up. However, Kua didn't release me as soon as the wound was healed. Oh no, the old bastard made me work my ass off to pay back the money he "wasted" on me. We did petty jobs and serious ass jobs for money, and I almost got away during one of the jobs (it was a petty vermin killing), but he didn't let me go. And beat some sense into me. He sort of literally did. He punched me. It was a nice solid punch.

"_Pay your dues!"_

I did, but he didn't push me away, and I didn't want to leave. I had grown too attached to him.

"_You are human."_

Or, maybe I'm afraid.

"Kaiyi, let us go," Kua says, walking in the opposite direction I'm facing, the direction the boy had run away. I didn't realize I'm still staring. Shaking my head, I follow him where we make our way to the cheapest inn we can afford, setting up our traveling kit once again.

I've been traveling with Kua for six months; it has been literally six months since I first came to this time period. It has occurred to me far before today that I'm not going home and that there is no way home. Unless I jump in a polluted river again, but hell, there is none. Unless jumping in a shit filled river I know is shit filled will take me back. Screw that, I'd rather get stabbed in the stomach again then jump in shit. "I shall be taking a short sleep, go ahead and roam the town if you like," Kua says as he sets up a futon for himself, getting ready to take his little nap. I leave the room, telling him that I'll see him later for dinner, and begin to make my way to view the town.

I've made plenty of obvious and deep observations that gave me hints on where I am. First of all, I discovered which time period I'm in, and that is the Three Kingdoms Era. I remember this history story well in school, though I never read Luo Guanzhong's books. Second, we are currently on the borderline of Shu and Wei territory, within a town of neutrality, but with Shu and Wei biases fighting for control on whose side to take. So far, they're leaning on Wei. Third, to them, I'm one of the most fuckin' intelligent women on the face of the Earth to them, just 'cause I can read. And lastly, people are not as sad and poor as history had described them. I mean, yeah, there was Lim and Song, but they were happy (until those bandits came along). I wonder… How are they? Can't exactly visit them so casually.

I have not met or seen any famous historical figures of this time period. Maybe this is a good sign; I do not want to be caught up in the shit these guys had gotten themselves in.

Anyways, so to sum it up of my life of today, I'm traveling with Kua, I'm never going to be able to go home, and I haven't met any historical guys thus far. "This will teach you, you little brat!" I snap my head the loud booming voice of a man, to see him throw a kid to the ground. The kid from earlier. The big guy kicks the kid in the stomach and my eyes widen at the act, no one's stopping him.

"Serves that thief right," I glance at a woman, she is dressed civilly, her long sleeve over her mouth, staring at the kid in distaste, "just the other day, that boy tried to steal from my husband, gave him a good whip on the back for it." The man kicks the kid again in the stomach, and the boy coughs out blood.

"He took one of the merchant's ornaments and tried to give it to Jie, but she knew that he stole it from the merchant, I do not want to dare think what happened to him."

"The brat deserves it," the man then proceeds to grab a piece of wood, raising it to hit the kid, who closes his eyes tightly shut, waiting for the oncoming pain.

"Stop!" I shriek, rushing up to the man, who stops midway, his eyes wide staring at me. My eyes were hard him as I kneel next to the bloody weak kid, his breathing slightly shallow. I felt at his ribs, they're broken. I glare at the man, "who the hell do you think you are! Harming a kid like this!"

"He tried to steal from my shop, he should be put to death for stealing from me. If he was not Jie's kid, I would do just so!" He barks, trying to give an equal glare.

"You need to get your damn morals fuckin' straight!" I shriek, slowly and carefully bringing the kid into my arms, "a child is the only precious piece of human innocence and ignorance. You raise a child so that they do no wrong," it feels like the words are just rolling off my tongue, as if I knew this. Where did I hear this from? It sounds really familiar. I stare at the kid's eyes, who looks to be in pain, "listen kid," I say, trying to make myself stern, "stealing is wrong. Would you like it if someone took your shirt? Or even your dignity?" He says nothing and I continue, "no more stealing from now on, understand? Fight in your own will, you get the things you deserve and things become more worthwhile," I gently carry the child in arms, standing up and glaring at the man and then the by standing women in disgust. "That is how you lecture a child."

* * *

><p>Kua is leaning on his arm, drinking sake as he watches the kid, who is lying on my bed, staring up at the ceiling while I'm setting up my, Kua's, and the kid's (his whole meal is the majority of mine) dinner. "Kaiyi, you should not have to feed this child, you are skinny enough as it is," Kua says in a bored manner, not really lecturing, maybe because he's too tired, but the likeliness is that he doesn't really care. I scowl.<p>

"I got myself involved, I can't just leave the kid hungry," I tell Kua, placing his meal in front of him and then helping the kid sit up so that it'll be easier for him to eat his meal.

"What is your name, child?" Kua asks the kid, staring with uninterested eyes.

"Chan Ge," he says hoarsely. Trying to reach out to grab the food, but he winces, holding his arm, my eyes narrow, and I move his sleeve up, running my hands on it to a point where he winces again in pain.

"Shit, you have a fuckin' broken arm too?" I curse, grabbing our medical equipment, pulling out the firmer wraps again, carefully wrapping his arm.

"You are paying for the replacement of those wraps," Kua states taking bites of the beef we got for our dinner.

"Yeah, yeah, I got it," I say nonchalantly, making sure the wrapping was tight.

"I'm sorry," Ge suddenly blurts out, looking down as I finish the wrapping; I narrow my eyes at him.

"What for?" I ask, knowing full well what he is apologizing for.

"You don't have to do this for me, it's ok—," I cut him off, flicking his forehead, he stares at me in shock.

"Shut the hell up and don't say anything about it," I snap at him, putting away the medical equipment, going on my knees next to the boy, grabbing his chopsticks, beginning to feed him, "now open up and eat," I order him, he complies slowly, chewing on his food, wiping his mouth when a little bit of drool begins to trail down. My cheeks hurt from narrowing my eyes so much, "when was the last time you ate kid?" I ask him, letting him chew his food, slower due to the question, until he swallows and stares at me with those pretty eyes of his.

"Yesterday morning," he tells me, I control myself by clenching my left hand into a fist, "father left that morning so she made sure to make a big meal," he explains, opening his mouth to be fed again, I give him the portion.

Everywhere, it's normal to hear of a family member going to war. It's not strange to make the days before or the morning before extra special, but in these hard times of this era, that father probably won't even return. And this boy, who hasn't eaten since yesterday morning, doesn't care whether or not his father survives. Because he left him with a mother who hadn't fuckin' feed him since yesterday.

I don't want to bring him back to her.

* * *

><p>Ge walks by my side, holding onto my robe as we make our way to his shack. Kua follows behind me, not patiently but not impatiently as we make our way to bring Ge back to his mother. Ge slept well last night, looking all cozy in the sheets of my bed as I slept right beside him, not sleeping. And it wasn't because of the dreams, it was because it was cold.<p>

The dreams haven't returned since then, and it's easier to sleep, but I don't dream of anything anymore, it's so much more comfortable than dreaming about that, so it's okay not to think about it. I've been thinking about it straight for nearly three years now, I think.

We see a woman coming out of her home, caring a basket full of clothes, she turns to us with a blank expression that slowly turned to anger when she looked down by my side. "Where have you been?" She shrieks at him, walking towards us, slamming the clothes on the ground. She grabs him by the shoulders and begins to shake him angrily, "do you know how much trouble the people have caused me because of what you are doing?" She looks up at me then smiles, I notice that one tooth was black plus there is a missing one. "I am sorry for all the trouble has caused you, I truly promise it will never happen again," she says, bowing apologetically.

"Get your hands off him," I say sharply, glaring at the woman with disgust, her eyes widen, her hands off her son now. "What the hell are you doing?" I question her, feeling Kua glaring daggers at me. "What kind of mother accuses her son of causing problems for her?"

"_If she says so, then I believe her."_

Ah, I remember now. Ge's mother is glaring at me now, "who do _you_ think you are? Questioning _my_ way of raising _my_ child?" The permanent scowl on my face darkens; I know it did because Ge seemed to shrink under it.

"I question you because your son has multiple wounds and broken bones all over his body," I look down at Ge, I felt warm, "ask him, right now, if he is happy." I order her, and she scowls at me, looking me up and down before staring down at her child, that scowl remaining.

"Are you happy, Ge?" His mother asks him in a cold tone, I can see Ge's body trembling, and he looks down, as if ashamed.

"No, mother, I am not," he answers quietly and everything is silent, his mother's eyes have widen, the anger intensifying.

"Fine!" She shrieks, pushing him roughly to the ground, I jump to his side in surprise, why didn't I see that coming? "Then get out! Leave! And die!" Ge's eyes widen at the words and he begins to cry, covering his eyes, trembling in my arms. My eyes were wide as well, and I turn to the woman as she walks back to her basket of clothes and I nearly get up, my hand outreaches to the woman, a large, firm, but fragile looking hand stops me.

"She is not worth it, Kaiyi," Kua says sternly, letting go of my shaking arm that immediately wraps around Ge to pick him up and try to comfort him.

"I'm sorry, Ge," I whisper to him, holding him close and he wraps his arms around my neck tightly, bawling.

"Do not leave me! Do not leave me! I do not want to be alone anymore!"

"_Mom! Mom!"_

"I promise."

"_I love you, Kaiyi."_

I bury my head on the crook of his tiny neck. "I promise…" I carry him away from it all. The glaring eyes, the abuse, the insults, all of it.

* * *

><p><em>Oh, a dream? It's been awhile. Wait, this isn't that time. It isn't any time. Pink, yellow, my Pikachu doll, and mom. My mother, what a wonderful dream. Mom, you really love me. Oh, dad. I didn't forget about you. I love you too. I think you love me more than mom. That's silly, she's going to be mad at you. Ah, warm eyes, wonderful warm, warm eyes.<em>

* * *

><p>Author's Note(s)<p>

Next to Kaiyi, Chan Ge is my favorite character. It was completely last minute developing him. Before this story was made, Ge never existed. Not even in my old versions of the story. Change was always centered around four girls (plus one guy who was into Kaiyi, but ends up with the bitch), but their love stories always made the story lag, and I wanted Kaiyi to be the star of the story, so I separated all their stories and gave Kaiyi her own, with a minor and 2 major appearances from the four girls.

Chan Ge's name should be very obvious where it came from. I think I like Ge especially because when he gets—

Currently, I'm very indecisive on how Chapter six should play out.

Anyway, Zhang Kua is an awesome old dude, right? But, you might get pissed off when you find out who he is at the beginning of Change's sequel.

Last thing, I'm sorry that the romance between Jiang Wei and Kaiyi is going very slow (as in non-existent[I should change the genre huh?]) But this is due to my belief— which I will reveal in my last chapter of Change.

Also, I know her personality change was quite sudden, but it will be explained in a very random chapter, hopefully randomly enough you won't expect it, which hopefully also gives the sense that you will help you really get what's going on through Kaiyi's mind.

And you're welcome for posting this chapter earlier than expected, although, don't expect a new chapter next month.

If you want to learn more about the origin of Change, hit me up with a message.


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